Catching life on autopilot

Howmuchever one is running on autopilot, shifting from one task to another seamlessly, getting exhausted by the end of the day, wonderful love stories always catch you offguard and give a sense of respite and relief.


My friend from grad school met a girl on skype. 
Both really liked each other and continued talking for a year.
After an year he decided to visit her.
On their first 'real' meeting on the airport, overcome by his love, he gave her his family ring and unofficially proposed.
They carried out the relationship for another year, facing visa troubles and travel hassles.
In the mean time she learned his language. He started creating a connected life around her.
Last year in a small family ceremony, they got married, in his town.
Due to some issues, the girl's entire family could not make it to the wedding. Only her mother did.
Yesterday they got married AGAIN in her town, after an year.
And they still look like they have just met, popped the question to each other and decided to get married. So amazing!


Of course you will wonder, this is filmy. Specially the skype and airport part. So Indian right ?
Wrong!
The guy is from Peru. The girl is from Romania.
Now repeat the story in your head again.
So much more awesomeness, right ?


Those two are the most wonderful *couple* I know. Dreading it out, braving each and every hassle. Making a life together.


Toast to their togetherness!


~nightflier


P.S. Also rakshabandhan today! So much fun to be around someone (brother) where I can still make faces and wiggle my tongue and be silly. Happy rakhi-day everyone :)

Love in the time of cholera

Pre Script : May become a very long post.


'Love stories. They make sense in bits and pieces, sometimes the whole never does. Love is like that.' - Someone on my twitter time line who has a way with words and life.


Ok. First things first. I don't even know why I picked and then decided to buy this book. On a landmark trip I had almost bought 100 years of solitude, but then because of a self imposed intervention did not buy it. Nonetheless I think it was destined (;)) that I read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's cholera (here after will be referred by the same name) first! Done with the story behind the book!


Love is a topic of personal disposition. To me my parents', friends' love makes perfect sense to me. Of course the husband-wife kind of love which involves a lot of domestication is something I have not experienced so cannot say much except from what I have observed. And that is why when I read the above quoted line, it again rang a bell and made perfect sense to me. (needless to say it shamelessly got re-tweeted)


Anywho, the book opened with the strangest and most evocative line I have read  'The smell of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love'. That moment on it was a journey of such and more stranger and beautiful lines. I have always found detailing of human emotions wondrous. And to imagine that I was reading a translation!!


When a proud, haughty Fermina Daza rejected the hopeless innocent love of Florentino Ariza,and instead settled for a seemingly perfect (wealth, looks, reputation and education wise) man Dr. Juvenal Urbino, I did not hate her. Nor did I feel instant sympathy for Ariza. Such was the book. It din't give me a central feeling which I could hold on to (the way Rowling did and we all still feel a certain empathy for Harry). He just took these people, their lives, their characters and their relationships with different people and looked at them as an observer. Of course I did gradually feel that Ariza's unrequited love gets fulfilled. And that's not because Fermina was unhappy or Urbino was a bad guy or Ariza himself was suffering. They were just themselves. Living life through disappointments and disillusionment trying to create better illusions for themselves.


These very scandalous (not in a perverse way) characters (and many other as well) were on a quest for love, which each explored in his/her own way, as fate permitted. And by the end of it, it all felt very peaceful and calm. There was no clamor of passion, hope or disillusion. Also the book had a very amusing and funny undertone. As if it knew what not to take seriously ;-)
[In a rather funny way, Ariza'a mother compares the symptoms of love of a young Florentino to Cholera. And there after keeps referring to it 'that ailment he once caught and never got rid of'.]


And since the original book is in spanish, and I read a translation, I hope it was worth it. Because, love stories don't need a language in the end ;)


Ok slight afterthought. While reading any book I imagine a movie being made on it (for most of them!). Somehow for me it was very difficult to imagine these people in a movie. And then I googled the movie which was made in 2007 based on the book and read Ebert uncle's synopsis of it and realized how true it is what he has said!
[For those who did not click the link, he says 'I'm wondering, as I started by saying, if what makes Garcia Marquez so great a writer is his work's insistence on being read, not seen'.]


Highly recommend. And oh you will love the carribbean of the colonial times! :)


~nightflier


P.S. Is it me or the post feels disjointed ? Guess its Marquez's work's insistence on being read, not being written about :-)

touching base

There is a charming feeling of belonging about one's home. And it is this feeling which makes me love travelling. It is the greatest moment of any journey.
Movement for the sake of movement is sometimes justified and mostly needed. But it is the feeling of stability, comfort that we humans greatly appreciate. Or must it be the feeling of acquaintance ?
May be that is the reason, that in spite of travelling to a dream bay land of everyone around, one feels immense satisfaction returning to the place of horrible and unpredictable weather in the middle of the night. It is no more the adventure of travelling alone at such awkward hours, or the excuse of running away from the humdrum, but the comfort of returning back without being judged that one learns to value.


Yes! Chicago I love you. Officially.
Not out of gratitude for taking care of me for 2 years without spending a single moment in contemplating about my origins or baggage. Not even for teaching me new ways of tackling life or myself. Just for being. Yes just for being yourself. Without any masks.
Every time I walk any trail along a river/lake side I will think of your myriad moods. Every time I look at the sky, I will think of how your skies' very colours enchanted and consumed me. Every time I am exposed to really boring weather, I will think of your chilling winds and the hot currents you blew. Every time I think of home, I will think of you.
We will never be done. Hopefully :)



~nightflier

To my beloved...

Today mom dad officially (after I reluctantly said YES) announced that they would be selling off my TVS scooty. For some reasons she has been acting weird and dad was kind of getting bugged with the regular mechanic trips. Plus me not having around must have been a major discomfort for him and her. 

As a tribute to the 8 (out of them 6 actually with me) glorious years of our association, I would like to express my feelings here.

You were presented to me on my 17th birthday. A shining black lady with the most killer looks! You were a surprise gift for me. A sweet surprise indeed!

That was the year when I had officially entered college. I was in my late teens and had those colorful sunglasses on, to soak in the new experiences life was to offer. You were my companion in the only illegal route I have taken, riding a 50 cc bike without a learner's license (for 2 months). I tasted the much hyped teen freedom with you. Riding you was a feeling of unbounded happiness for me. A feeling of control and extreme satisfaction. I could zoom at my own speeds , compete with fellow bikers at break neck (max 60) speeds. Many times when I used to be alone, you gave me company. The long waits before any classes, the incessant honking in front of friends' house, the independence of movement, were all possible because of you. You taught me how to care for others by teaching me how to feel what's going on inside you, how your system works, what turns you off and what turns you on. :) You were a great companion. Your memories still are and will be!

I found a part of myself with you. The one who loves speed and being on her own. 

Then you moved to Pune with me. There also you were a witness to all my adventures. Getting lost, learning new routes, riding triples, dropping off friends, serving mine and my friends' occasional whims of eating Sambhaji's pani puri or Vaishali's spdp, going to localite friends' house when homesick, studying, photo sessions, and innumerable such memories. There I learnt how to respect my freedom and control my independence. I grew up as a person in Pune and you were a testimony to that. 

Riding you still gives me that occasional high of being in total control. Its a very good feeling. Thanks for that :)

Its another weird co-incidence that today morning I went for bike shopping here. And in the evening I got this news. Its a different thing that I could not buy a bike today. But may be its a sign telling me to move on. You were my first vehicle (I hardly rode my bicycle), whom I adored very much. I will make it a point to visit you, of course, if your new owner lets me. You have given me wonderful memories and have been a steadfast friend in a crucial and golden period of my life. 

I will miss you. Wish you and your new owner a life full of adventures :)

nightlfier :)

Ex-pectation setting !!

I am in those years of my life, when there are hook ups and engagements and weddings taking place left, right and center, around me. And the perpetual (at least for the time being) question that haunts my dear ones is this - when will we hear about you ?

I am like..What ????? Abhi to main nanhi munni hoon.

sigh..That's not a perfect escape plan. But the actual answer is 'I don't know'. Because I don't know what kind of person I want to be with. I mean you ask me about harry potter, clearance sales, laplace transforms, dc-dc converters, Hindi movies, English movies, where to watch them, cooking tips, I will answer most of the questions right. But this one is a tough nut. Plus the fact that I like to dodge it, is another issue. I mean can we get an exact set of expectations ? I will always want more. I know about myself and I also know that he should complement me. Again no idea, what way. 

Anyways, over the past few weeks, after much deliberation in this direction, some things which came into my mind are:

1. The guy needs to have a madness quotient about him. Not someone who is always talking about how much he knows, how cool he is, trying to impress me. Instead someone, who can take me for a ride in a funny way. So the madness quotient = knack of making me laugh in the most serious and shitty situations.

2. He should have dreams. May be we can sit together one evening and dream for 'US' :) aww..how romantic !! I think dreaming increases the romance quotient. 

3. The guy should respect others. Yeah. Not just humans, but other living beings too !!

4. Bande mein kuch baat ho. The X-factor may be ;)

5. And last but not the least, he should be real !!!

Ok. So that was about the guy. Well, the girl will be his bestest friend, caring wife, super cool girl friend and a companion for life. Who will let him have the remote during cricket and football matches and grab it during tennis matches. Who will just stay calm and may be cry, if they have a fight. A girl who will need total isolation, a retreat once in a while.

Baki I am like every other girl, who can be extremely girly on some sunny days and extremely tom boyish on some grey days. 

A girl who likes to be taken out for expensive dates once in a while and given the princess like treatment. 

A girl who is very nonchalant about her looks, but at the same time can drive him crazy to buy that expensive dress/shoes. 

A girl who is very sensitive, but at the same time can be a rock solid pillar in the face of adversity. 

A girl who does not really care what others think, if she thinks she is doing the right thing. 

A girl who is totally mad too, though at times. 

A girl who can be really geeky and immersed in her books and studies and forgets everything. Even about his supper :P

A girl who will take care of all the important details of his life, if he just carves her birthday in his mind and never forgets to make that day special !!

A girl who is capable of unconditional love.

A girl who knows, any guy who reads this will make sure to keep his distance from her, but who is still writing this.

So as I told you, I just know about myself. Self obsession ka bug, koi dawa asar na kare !!

Again I am not entirely sure if I answered the perpetual question, but at least this is a better come back.

~nightflier :)

P.S. I lied in the post. I had given that 5 point answer, to a question asked by a colleague from office. So that deliberation of thought was a booby trap :P I think I will act on an impulse in these matters :)

Dil vil pyaar vyaar !!

Love is in the air. I know its not the holy month of February, all you love gurus and valentine suckers !!

Its in the air, because I sense so. (Again, its not about me. Better clarify. Spare me your oooh's and aah's :D)

So, when I see people around me (hush..hush..) in the 'ooooh..so sweet' (flutters eyelashes) thing called love, I ask myself, what is love, baby???

I secretly know I do not know the exact answer though I love so many people in my life :). But then when I do not know perfectly about something, I make it a point to know the things not associated with that something. Like, I do not know about the game of baseball. But I seriously know that its not like cricket, though people run amock in a field for a single ball (!!!) like mad and you score runs and get caught, etc, etc. Now, you got the point ?

Anyways, coming back to ishq vishq and all that matters, my take on what is not love.

Love is not something which makes you miserable. Where you cry over a stupid thing someone said, for hours. Then the other person broods over it and then the chain reaction. Phew. If someone says something stupid to me, I tell him/her how stupid it was. It did not make sense. And end the stupidity there. I mean crying over such things wastes a lot of energy, unless it is something very serious, like 'hey, you are such a jerk, to love Shahrukh khan.' Its self invited war in such cases !!! 

So number 1, love does not make you miserable. Miserable to emotions, circumstances, stupid mistakes.

Love is not about 'me' or 'you'. It's a lot more about 'US'. Not the country yaar, the 'we' part. The togetherness part :) Me and you put a lot of pressure on the 'love' quotient. The 'we' part helps love grow in a free manner :)

(disclaimer: I did watch 'u, me aur hum', liked it in bits and pieces, but these are my views!!)

The fall in love is not just a phrase. It symbolises the ultimate rise. This applies to every relation according to me. Again stressing that things are supposed to make you happy. There has to be a sense of belonging, caring and bonding. The rise is just felt in the right way then. It is such a high I tell you!! Not better than dancing all night to bollywood tunes though!

Love is not a do or die dependency. The dependency is more mutual. But it does not hamper any one's lives. I mean 'main tumhare bina nahi jee sakta/sakti' stuff is too hyperbolish and filmy. Even you know that, each of us can live without each one of us. It's the way god designed our genes, that makes us a social animal. Not much of our fault, you see.

I do not know how KJ and yash chopra movies work (I am a sucker for this mush though!!) when they say love is friendship and love is not just friendship, but I would ultimately like to believe that  love has companionship. How boring it would be otherwise to watch all this mush alone?

Love is not just girl-boy. It can be between anyone. Brother-sister, father-son, professor-student (the respectful love, don't raise those eyebrows), girlfriends (girls who are "friends"), boys who are friends (!!), your dog and me (ohh..do I miss bruno?? :() I find the 'love actually' (great movie!!) type of love definition appealing. 

Love really is not bound by cast,creed and religion. For the conservatives, I can love anyone. Come on' its love we are talking about. Its a natural and pure feeling. If only we could filter our feelings that way!!

Love does not necessarily metamorphosise into a successful relationship/wedding. Some 'love' stories are good as just stories. Love and relationships have really different dynamics. Love relates you to someone, but vice versa can not be true always. Like a boy and girl though really great as friends can sometimes not hit it off that well, if they were betrothed. So specially teenagers and people my age (I am not so old, you see) should chillax. Love happens and so do relationships. You just have to take it easy.

Lastly, though love brings along some anxiety and possessiveness, it's not desperation. I can not think of how to explain this point. :-/

My love fundas are not coming out of my ever exhaustive brain anymore. I know a lot though :D

I just blogged because had this unbearable urge to write something down and got up out of my slumber, to jot this down.

The thoughts could have been more coherent and synchronised, but this was an urge after all !! :)

One last thing once again, Love actually is all around :)

nightflier!

P.S. Not being in 'love' in the v-day fashion also entitles you to write you views ;)