The year in books

2011 was more or less the year of books for me!
And since I needed a challenge to keep going, I thought 'lets try to read 50 books this year'. Well, I finished 35 (honestly, I did not read last 30 pages of 'The Difficulty of being good'. Too much that book was!)


Here's a break down of the challenge, which I could not complete :D (this year onward, the challenge will be realistic :P)


Total books read - 35
Number of pages read - 12488
Top 5 books -   1. The book thief
                       2. Steve Jobs (biography)
                       3. Love in the time of cholera
                       4. The Pregnant King
                       5. Palace of Illusions and Storm of Swords
Honorable mentions - Open, The Time Traveler's wife, The wind up bird chronicle, The Hobbit, 100 years of solitude, the 4 hour workweek
Most boring read of the year (*drumroll*) - The difficulty of being good. Caused many headaches. too much!
The book which made me LOL a lot - God save the dork by Sidin
The book I badly wanted to finish but could not - Fooled by randomness by Nassim Taleb
Library reads - 6
Personal buys - 11
E-books - 4

being obsessive :D

I have a much lengthy and ever expanding reading list for this year.
Recos are always welcome!


The reading for this year has already begun.
Talk about being obsessive :D


Anywho, here's wishing y'all an year filled with peace, joy, fun, laughter and sunshine :)


-nightflier

warm tidings of december

N1 said very nonchalantly 'I always knew I was no good with academics beyond a limit, so I dropped out of the race and did something I could really cope with'. We beamed at her proudly. It takes rare self-awareness at a younger age to arrive at such decisions. Of course her family never objected because they must be the 'coolest parents' ever! 

N2 said very self aware-ly (at 27 also some people don't really have that!), 'I was a mess in college. Thank god for family and later getting away from home, to be on my own, I outdid myself and am in a much better shape.' Not that I agreed completely, but then she was so point blank honest, it was almost endearing!

I said, 'I have always been restless. I always need to find out whys, sometimes on my own. And I guess that is for now my 'calling'. Plus being good at studies in childhood, kind of shaped my decisions this way'. They seemed to agree.

Of course, we evaluate ourselves for fun. (remember how the whole is way bigger than the sum of parts and all that?) After spending eons of time in each other's company, not really growing up (or the other way round?) the candid and sometimes non sensical views on things/people, bring you together. Even if for a few hours. Bind you again, may be.

The most amusing thing is how non-insecure and compassionate everyone is. Questions/comments over one's hair/clothes/anything else as well evoke hearty laughs. We judge each other over our overt sense of no-dressing-sense during school. The dogs/cats in one's life at that point suddenly come into picture. And that stupid snob from school, who 'shows off' for no reason, rather every reason, is a point of conversation too! We almost exclaim, together, 'dude everyone has that/does that these days. What's the big deal!' From guys/husbands to the other woman (read his mother) in the husband/boyfriend 's life gets discussed. And how 'to each his own' needs to be the motto of the human race, echoes off the walls. 

In all this, the hotel manager can't really stand what good time we are having (despite the crates of food ordered) so rudely sends off the bill (very Puneri I tell you). We move on, find a coffee shop entirely forgetting that 2 of us have an office too! 'Lets eat something so that we dont get kicked out again' happens and dessert gets ordered. Of course 3 by 1 happens. Amidst more nonchalance towards office and winding up conversations with silly dialogues 'tu bilkul nahi badli' (you haven't changed a bit, when so much in you has actually changed!) and corny poses, the morning fades.

Warm tidings indeed!

Met school friends after a while, one after 5-6 years, the other after 2 months. Never been a nicer way to end an year (at least now that I know!). If I am allowed to be corny once more (other than the pics of course), they truly have seen the real me! :D

~nightflier

Secret Santa

On a rather dull work day, I read a Samit Basu tweet about a books giveaway and for fun indulged in creating a wishlist of books at uread.com
Ok, so on another note, as a bus commuter, having books ready for the coming month and planning accordingly becomes a huge part of the obsessive game plan. Plus the rule is the book should not be very huge so that it becomes a burden (literally!) to carry everyday. And I have stopped using the iTouch for reading books because it makes me squint too much! The other rule while creating a wishlist is to include items you are lusting over but which kind of disturb your monthly budget if you decide to splurge. (Yes. there has to be a limit to SPLURGING too!).


Anyway, I made my list of 5 books, tweeted it out to the people @UReadShop !


After a week or so, I guess on the 20th morning, I was groggy eyed (On most mornings the first thing I do is check my twitter feed :P)  and checking my mentions column when I read THIS. 

I wanted 1Q84 and Inheritance so bad that it hurt,
every time I saw their price tags :P

I WON IN THE GIVEAWAY :D
Whadda day it was! Woke brother up, jumping with joy, who thought I was day dreaming :P
Anyway, the books arrived yesterday. ->


So, the bottom 3 books will be reserved for the bus commutes and the humongous upper 2 will be be included in weekend reading :D


A special thank you to the awesome people at Uread who made this holiday season extra special :)

One thing I loved about the books is this. The bookmarks that accompanied them. Aren't they wonderful ?


Also, this unexpected gift from Santa makes me feel I have been a good child this year ;)
Always a great feeling! yay!




~nightflier


P.S. Of course, Mr. Nassim Taleb will think I am 'fooled by randomness'. But maths be set aside while I enjoy the books ;)

How do you fight ?

Since we are running out of lists to make this month, a recent fight with a friend drives me to write this.


I am not well with words during fights. Have never been in real physical fights. Oh well. I should stop taking things too literally. 


Anywho, since I am a sagittarius and aai normally warns me about that whenever I am angry (we are prone to sharp verbal attacks), I have learnt to not speak much during any kind of tiff. But planets be damned. I anyway don't speak much. Because I am an emotional shit during fights. So I cry my anger/frustration out. Crying lets out all the negative stuff out I might have said otherwise. But I do write stuff down in a cooler version of a fight. And when the self control switch is not working, sometimes emails get sent. There. Now what would have been a fleeting case of hurtful emotions bubbling, becomes a well etched memory. In someone's mailbox. Hmm. Now I know why aai warns me. May be spoken words are better. Given the memory span of our brain and its ability to overwrite stuff, the moment is lost as time goes by. But I have not been able to do that. The moment of bitterness scares me. So might as well stick to writing. *Send* buttons be damned.

*from google
The harbinger of peace

And once all the email servers have been uploaded with negative energy, I start feeling really lame. I tell my close friends, brother, aai how stupid/bad I was. Aai and brother have a standard response - 'close friends fight. Do say sorry. And try to grow up.' Dad really thinks that it must have been the other person's mistake. He loves me too much. And he believes in me too much. So that is there. Even though its great to have someone by your side who thinks you are invincible, after-battle-scenario doesn't require that validation.
Friends more or less proclaim 'Weirdo. Who fights over that! Give it time.' Cool. More lameness burden over my tiny shoulders.


So venting it out in the open space remains the only smart and peaceful option. Because the universe as they say is expanding. It can take it. No?


Anywho, point is *death by over-analysis* of a situation/fight is possible.
Abort mission.
Peace out.


~nightflier


P.S. I am sure you guys have really grown up ways of fighting. Hmmpf.

on time travel

I am reading the time traveler's wife. And as I progress in the book each day, I time travel. To chicago.

Its weird because, even today I just have to close my eyes to get transported to Michigan avenue. In front of the art Institute. Sometimes walking from Roosevelt station to Jewel Osco. Its wondrous that how we can store images of a place we don't belong to anymore and re live the moment. 

I love the city. Obvious to love any place if you study there. Also though I believe in trying to live the present and the moment, its at times absurd that I have to time travel to these images. Of past. Time gone by. Going to places where you want to linger but not necessarily live or be a part of. It is at times, better than looking at photographs. Words take me there effortlessly. So personal it is.

A friend of mine thinks, that may be I should not have come back. I sense regret there. But then would I have time traveled like this ?

Somehow I like the romantic notion of going back to images in your head. Fondly. Sometimes objectively.

~nightflier

Caricature-d

Total lunar eclipse.
Ustad Amjad Ali Khan's sarod + classical dance recital on the stage.
Getting caricatured by an artist*.
Awesome people for company.


= FUN evening!


also when you are dreading the weighing scale, because you expect grimaces from the people noting, a 3 kg tilt of the pointer just makes your day. ;)


This is such a merry weekend!


* anyone who can draw is an artist in my eyes.
P.S. the books in the picture were a friend's idea and the artist's imagination and implementation!

What keeps you going?

Sounds like a really philosophical question. But the other day read Neha's post and commented whatever came to my mind at that point (I like spontaneous comments, give you a clear picture, don't they?).

and she counter commented and asked the question in the title.

Hmm. Umm. Hmm. :D

But whatever I said in the comment, I hold true to it. I know there are days in a row when I have to give myself a reason to look forward to things coming along. It is not always easy but its fun. All the mind games my mind makes me play! :P

True to what I said earlier, here's a list (damn!) of things which make me hold back, particularly not in any order. Also a product of time and lifestyle. Many of these things were not a part of my life as a grad student or hostelite.

• Bus rides to work and books I read during that time. I have become really obsessive with books lately. (surprise!) With normally two books running parallel, and trying to read not more than 50 pages of a book any day,  the what's next in the book, keeps me going. Obsessions like these keep me going.
• On the days when I am not feeling like reading (never on any given morning and occasionally on return journeys from work), I sit immediately behind the driver. I like to feel the thrill of his rash driving. Its an old habit. And I am no Senna but speed makes me feel alive.
• Twitter banter with friends. Most of it is teenage-y and high school types. But what the heck! We aren't growing up anyway. Might as well relish it.
• Her posts.
• Buying vegetables from my subji-wale uncle and aunty. I like my vegetables fresh and hence indulge in this a lot.
• At work, its mostly some problem I have to solve. Totally kicks me.
• Strangely after more than 15 years of schooling, exams still excite me. Japanese or python. Tests bring the fighter out of me. Sheesh. I feel lame.
• Trying to imitate a aai-special dish. Sometimes just her style of fodni-tadka (what does one call this in english?) In general cooking lifts me up in more than one ways. *Always* works. Almost.
• The idea that there is so much to travel and explore. Day dreaming about Morocco, the north east, Bruges or Peru.

I guess I have bored Neha enough with all this :D

But anyway, discovering small things to be happy/grateful about is what holds me back. Most of the times. And on the utterly off days, I simply take a break and don't get out of my comforter :P Simple.

~nightflier

brand list

Read Upasna's post about the collective shopping experience. And since my blog is suffering (read no posts :() and the post made me nostalgic, I decided why not! Plus being year end and all this is going to be a month of lists, of things done, not done, to be done. Might as well start with some nostalgia!


So, here is the list of our *family* brands. As much as I can remember.

• Bapat kirana stores - Aai still prefers to buy their chakka (from which shrikhand, a typical maharashtrian dessert is prepared)
• Milton dresses - I cannot remember an year without a visit to them. After moving away from home and getting exposed to other brands, the trend has now subdued. But parents still visit, especially when they have to buy gifts.
• Bata shoes - OMG! We are truly a bata family (at list for the slippers :D). Still visited by parents. Comfy stuff according to me.
• Raaj - raajeshwari - for all miscellaneous shopping.
• Choudhari cutpiece center - Year after year all the bed sheets, cushion covers, sofa covers at home bear their seal!
• Hair and care - Dad still uses it!!!!!
• Moti/hamam/mysore sandal soaps - We are so-oh low profile with soaps :D
• Britania marie - These are our favorite tea time biscuits! to this day!
• Society tea - judge us :P
• Dhara oil - oh yes! jalebi!
• Videocon - our first tape recorder, in which countless tapes got recorded with yours truly reciting poems. sheesh. but true. :-|
• Whirlpool - I was so fond of that whirlpool-whirlpool ad that I made parents buy this fridge, when my opinion was asked for :P
• Haldiram - This is our default go-to shop for any impromptu sweets/snacks shopping, when in rush.

I want to add many more. But this is it for now.

shall update.

Do you remember your collective shopping experiences as a family ?

Will be fun to read!

~nightflier

learning curve

So I am learning another language. No it cannot be spoken. And it deals with computers.Thank you for the boos.


Moving forward. I was wondering whether the fact that our teacher is a total geek has anything to do with my increased levels of interest. Or how he tells stories about the evolution of the language and constant anecdotes about why some things are done better or worse. He promotes doing things on the fly. And nor does he start the session with boring stuff like data structures, data types, classes or objects. 


Flashback to undergrad days, when those very terms were hammered down my throat making it mandatory to learn them (mug them if not understand) to pass exams. I hated computers and anything which taught me how to automate things with their help. 


Coming back to present day, anyone in the technology field will tell you that how even a little knowledge of computer programming languages has been a boon to their existence in this field. And again going back to teaching techniques used to teach these make me gape. In horror. After 4-5 years of collective experience using various languages, this session was the *only* one which really took care of my needs as a learner. And I know a huge credit goes to the trainer, who was more interested in getting us 'grown ups' interested. Rather than forcing us to blindly accept stuff.


Interesting thing he mentioned, 'only our computing platforms have improved, the tools we use remain the same. Which is quite a shame. Even Dennis Ritchie would agree.' Does same apply to teaching ? Why have not our techniques improved ? or have they ?


~nightflier


P.S. may be that's the reason some of my brightest computer engineer friends cringe at the thought of coding. Their teachers did something terribly wrong :D

one wish for today

It's allowed to be cheesy/soppy about oneself on birthdays. After all the hindi film values one has imbibed, it becomes mandatory.


So allowing myself the right of not growing up enough when required, I would say I grew up a long time back. On those little occasions when it was least expected.


Allison keys/clarke says, 'Sometimes the best way to move into the unknown is to take familiar steps, small steps. To do ordinary things to deal with something that is in no way ordinary. We're always going someplace new, all the time. Familiar things just let us pretend that we aren't moving into unfamiliar territory. You take those small familiar steps, and you try to be honest, not to live as if nothing had changed but still to go on with your life. But there are times when what you need is a piece of how things used to be.'


Oh and she is hardly 8. 
So I hope to talk to people, a lot of whom I have not been in touch with out of choice or otherwise, today. To feel familiar.


One last birthday wish this. Promise.


~nightflier

The art of making a snowman - Reloaded!

Since Winter Has Come (Yes, I am a fan of the series and will use this line till the end of the world :P) and there will be no snow in swades and I would like to celebrate the thanksgiving week playing make-believe, here is something from my closet. 

The idea to shoot in frames and then make a video came from this ingenious mind. I was thankfully left to being myself. In the fun Chicago winter! Oh and there is a rainbow in the background as well, if you notice :)
[College band's real hero playing in the background]


Have fun watching! Happy thanksgiving week in advance!


~nightflier

this birthday's advance wish

'I need to be happy. I need to be secure. On my own.'

I don't compare my life with anyone's. Truth. I am human. Truth. But when I am deeply dissatisfied by/with some things (which I directly cannot change) around it happens automatically. A creepy feeling sits inside my head. And then I dread even getting out of bed. Like this Wednesday. I acted like a 6 year old who feigns illness to avoid school and stayed home. For no reason. I did some outdoor work just to let some fresh air inside my otherwise sodden head. The restlessness just did not go away. It remained. Some inventions in the kitchen helped. Staying away from the laptop and internet helped. 

So may be going ahead, I should wish to get rid of such Wednesdays. Initially may be just learn to avoid gracefully ? And for that 'I need to be happy. I need to be secure. On my own.'

An ok wish. You think ?

~nightflier

P.S. There was a slight chill in the air today. Also I wore socks to work today. Winter is coming. :)

on finding conflict

Day before I was watching rockstar (which I liked for its nuances despite overall it being an ok movie with the most beautiful dud for an heroine) and it got me thinking about conflicts. There are some people, emotions, definitions in life about whom/which I still feel really conflicted. In extremes. Sometimes. And I do believe that has triggered a lot of thinking on my part, which has shaped my outlook towards life in general. Of course, I write as if this is my afterlife. Oh well.

And that's why I think I liked Imtiaz Ali's attempt, where he tries to capture the conflict in a not-so-abnormally brought up JJ. I liked that little scene where the erstwhile buffoon JJ thrashes his sister-in-law for being too touchy feely. Also loved the scene where Nargis says yes even before Jordan asks her the question. (That's the only place she did justice to that thing called 'acting'). And JJ's divine intervention moment in faya kun (What beautiful song, been listening to it with tum ko and katiya karu for the past 4 hours). And the turmoil when Nargis is trying to run away from Jordan. So yes, I liked the attempt to show troubled or not so lives of the protagonists. It made me care about Jordan, even if very very late in the movie.

So telling that conflict may give rise to the best or the worst of us, is like saying 2+2 equals 4. At a certain level, I do want my life conflict free, to attain that level of calm and peace which zen gurus have. But then may be for normal people, conflict is the only way to attain peace. No ? (2 biographies which I read recently, steve jobs and andre agassi, namely re-iterate this. Or so I felt).

Oh, and have you felt conflicted? Ever?

[ I had goosebumps all over during the first 3 minutes of the movie. Rehman's built up music does that. But the most I felt touched, the music and voice hitting straight my heart, was when the subdued Kavita Krishnamurthy track started playing at the end.]

~nightflier

P.S. Also KT agrees. So I am not alone in liking the movie :D

finding treasure

Every time during a long holiday (specially diwali) at home, we visit aai's parents. (well, baba's father passed away when he was 19, so he pretty much grew up with lots of responsibilities and really looked upto aai's father. Plus other granny lived with us. We don't have much biases otherwise.)
Aai always tells her mother (my aaji, granny) that  we are so lucky, as we got all this grandparents' love while growing up. Aaji's and aajoba's  (grandfather) parents passed away when they were really young. Hence. Aai thinks all this is very special. We normally take it for granted. Don't we all ?


As a kid, aai used to write letters with all her out-of-station rakhis. I learnt from her and continued the tradition well through college (afterwards I got into work and grew up :(). So much that I would write letters to aaji-aajoba complaining about aai too! Talk of pay back! Just out of making conversations with aai's brothers and sisters in law, I used to address everyone in my letters. Aajoba always replied to my letters. In the most literary way. With marathi verses and cryptic words. He would give gandhi references too! Sometimes it used to take me aai's help to even read them properly and make sense. 
I was his first grand kids who left town for education and he wrote me a 3 page letter telling me to never get home sick and how to work towards one's ambitions. I did not understand any of it much then. 
He followed स्वावलंबन  (self dependence) all through his life. He used to go for long walks, wash his own clothes and thali (dinner/lunch plate). When we were visiting and otherwise as well, he would go to the market and pick the freshest vegetables for us. Sometimes he would pack some stuff with aai, saying we lived in cities where we don't get to eat the fresh veggies. It would amuse us and we would roll our eyes.


Aajoba passed away 2 years back in the most bizarre manner. We are still uncomfortable talking about it. 
And then all the things aai says about being special suddenly strike me. And during this year's visit it gnawed at me.


I still carry all his letters with me. They are my treasure. He was a voracious reader. Aai has most of his books. I think she has found her treasure too!


~nightflier

The why of innovation

Blog post is a result of the post (must read alert!) Upasna wrote which prompted me to write about my experiences!

[A quick note for Upasna: I know I took more than a week to finally post it. But the more I thought over it the more I got material, inside my head. So thanks for making the grey matter churn! :) Have tried to keep it shorter though!]

I am an engineer by education and a student by profession (I know it sounds clichéd but this is my standard answer to aai, who is often intrigued by why I take up obscure things to learn).

My 4 years of undergraduate studies might not have taught me much theoretically/practically, considering how crammed up the system was and how I never got along with some course material. But the one thing, I stress over and over again, it has done is, open my mind. And the decision to study further and some extremely awesome *chance* experiences restored that fact and brought me face to face with research and innovation. Bundled together.

diwali week in picture(s)

Happy (belated) diwali to everyone!

my diwali rangoli!!

My unexpected blogging break happened over this one week, owing to various reasons.
Anywho, looking forward to a lot of randomness which has been planned.


cheerio!


~nightflier

charming mika

We had guests at home over the weekend. Amongst them was the most precious 3 year old (mihika becomes mika :D) I have met in a while. 

But (there are always but-s) I am really thick sometimes. Also I work on saturday. Sometimes.

So on sunday morning we tried to strike friendship. We played with boo-boos (soft toy dogs) and the zhu zhu park (where a dog named miss prissy tries to escape her park). But then she had to go out. So she left with the cutest flying kiss.

When she returned in the afternoon, we had to start from scratch. Like 'mi tujha book vachu ka?' (can I read your book?), 'tu kaay vikat aanla?' (what did you buy in the mall). Not that she was territorial, she was just genuinely shy. Of course, her mother told me, that she is the noisiest kid around once the ice is broken.

So totally desperate to make friends 'again', I asked her in the most dramatic tone - aap bahot sharmati ho? (why are you being so shy?). Warmest smile was flashed. And then all her books became my property. She made me read them out to her. We also ate Minnie Mouse's cookies (biscuits she insisted!) And decided Elmo was cute. We also drew each other's portrait :D

Then she also showed me her new 'black' 'sandals' which her parents had to buy her wearing them. She changed into a snow-white tee with matching clips and posed at the door for us. Then she also played tag with the badminton racket.

She again gave us flying kisses and left for another outing.

Some kids are just *precious*. And why did I write this, because I read Upasna's post and it made me miss my new friend :)

~nightflier

*DO NOT*

ALERT : In the language of communication, this post contains negative stuff. 


# *DO NOT* consider the pen/pencil/book/notes I lent you as yours for eternity. It is polite to return it once done using. Either way I have learnt to ask for my stuff back by making you feel embarrassed. 
(Like waiting outside the classroom until you show up and then shamelessly asking for my pen back, in front of everyone)


# *DO NOT* invade my personal physical space or breathe deeply over my shoulder while standing/sitting next to me. Its creepy. And I have no problem giving you that 'legendary stare' of mine. Even if it means getting labeled as a snob/bi***/or whatever.


# *DO NOT* play cute with your girlfriend at a signal and let her honk your bike, in an awkward gesture to cuddle (also applies to the perpetually in hurry random stranger who honks). If there's a RED signal, chances are no one will move till it turns GREEN. Geddit?? And you will end up getting well deserved stares/sneers from onlookers.


# *DO NOT* scold me for practical stuff like 'going for lunch alone', 'without asking you to join' on a VERY BUSY work day. I may just hang/pretend dead in the ensuing conversation (after saying sorry), which might puzzle you.


# *DO NOT* expect me to shower you with compliments or act all goody-goody (with you) just because you praised my clothes/hair/ear-rings/work. I will definitely complement you if similar situation brings forth the possibility/necessity of you deserving a well meaning compliment (not just for the heck of it).
(having said that complements are nice. They do make my day. So thanks for being generous towards me)


~nightflier

most of it is magic

Most of any kind of learning is magic. According to me. You read stuff, scribble it down, try to remember it by associating with random/routine phenomena, speak it out aloud in your head or otherwise.


And then the hiragana you write down everyday, starts making sense. 
It feels wondrous to me. How those random strokes mean 'something'. 

being a show-off :D

And this also makes me think that as a child, learning to write in any language must have felt so *Awesome*! Oh and all my illusions of great handwriting got auto shattered. Hiragana is artistic. Which means I am to have a tough time to reach that 'great handwriting' level. Nevertheless in the age of computing, writing in a 3 line notebook with a pencil, is hugely cathartic. Dont take it too seriously, but I feel wonderful after having written the entire alphabets in a single go, every morning. 


Of course, one can write means, one can read too. Now. It's just that the reading is laborious and halting. I know I will get to the fluency. It's all about practice after all. No ?


Speaking. Ah. The words cloud inside my head. Waiting to rain. Sometimes a line or two sprouts which makes sense. Sometimes, its just mumbling. The Sensei (teacher) is kinder. She immediately fills up for me (us in a group). She gives a 5 star (chocolate) too, if you excel in conversations. Excel here is strictly subjective. If there is just one group performing, of course you win. Yay!


I am the brightest kid in the other sensei's (teacher) session, who enlightens us on the cultural aspects and history of the place. We talk about Samurai and ninja warriors, the food, the films and modern history. Occasionally we watch movies/video clips too. In dimmed light. We shed tears on the nuclear bombing affair. We talk about grave of the fireflies and the phoenix. We start respecting people even more.


Nowadays I write emails in romaji to the sensei, with my doubts. Pretty soon I will be able to read too. And then may be a real Japanese book will happen. For now, I will stick to cartoons. They always have subtitles. #win


~nightflier

Liberated

So for an upcoming official trip, the manager asked my confirmation and without any delay I gave mine. Another colleague, who is younger, said she needs to take permission/s from her family.


Later she asked me, now your bro will get angry with you, na ? Not only did I smile, but I also wondered when was the last time I 'literally' had to take permission from any of my family to do something.


I guess aai-baba let go of a lot of control when they called me one evening after 8.30 and I was still outside hostel. (8.30 pm was our curfew/in time). Of course I was out because, we had lost our way :D
Anywho point is unless something is totally life altering they don't really expect me to spill out my every life move. I think its very courageous of them.
Contrarily, I also feel less pampered on *some days*. And that day I decide to bug them with every tiny bit of my decision making. Right from what to wear, to what subji to buy, to what to eat for lunch :P


I think these things are personal and vary from family to family (person to person). But you grow up and feel liberated when you share and seek permission without being expected of. Ironically the moment you do things because you feel like and not because you have to, you stop being a grown up!


~nightflier

processing death

'To an organized mind death is but the next great adventure.' - JKR


I believe he is been put to rest peacefully in Galt's gulch. A part of me thinks aliens took him away. Another part says he has left behind pre recorded messages for the future apple people.


Wherever he has gone, I am sure that place will be better. The way our world has become.

1955-2011
from - google

And this is not because I have been using his products, or standing in queues (for both - been there done that) since my childhood. I feel the impact because my brain still cannot process death. (earlier when I and KT were crying over the phone, more like 'done shedding tears individually, but sharing the loss' we discussed how inept and weird we are at this - handling of any type of death). 


I feel the biggest loss is the one which you just cannot surmise in words. It feels so personal.
The only way I can imagine of processing this death, is by keeping myself in action. By 'staying hungry and foolish'.


~nightflier


P.S. This is the emptiest Dasara of my life. A happy one to all.
'मन से रावण जो निकाले राम उसके मन में हैं'

skynet (google) of the future ?

Hari Seldon a psychohistorian and mathematics professor predicted the future by studying the behavioral patterns of living beings. He analysed the data in short and his analysis proved beneficial for the foundation's birth and activities in helping the living race sustain.


Skynet on the other hand a self-aware AI system built to aid humans, overpowered them and caused a lot of trouble.

Of course this is all science fiction in popular culture. But if you read In the plex (a book about google) this will feel like a really possible future. Considering google is all about data, studying human behavior over the internet and recognizing patterns, I am pretty sure our future is no less than interesting. Of course I am hoping with all the great possibilities it will be better and not skynet-ish. Though the possibility itself excites me. (HUGE Judgement Day fan alert!) 


With me spending so much time on the net, I am sure the engineers at google will have an algorithm ready to serve self obsessed people like me, about my behavioral pattern :P And I like that possibility even though its hugely prying. But if I gave approval may be they could do it. And that is google's biggest existential crisis. A company run by über geeks, always striving to follow the 'don't be evil' motto.


But all that apart it was a relief to know that the place is run by people whose moral values are like those of montessori kids, who believe in asking questions and working hard to build complex systems to make information relevant, reachable and useful. The sheer technological (mathematical) stuff going on at google is awe inspiring. Some of the ideas and projects going on there make science fiction seem real. And if I am to naively believe that the geeks running the company stick to their value sets, it will be a wonderful future.


A very interesting read. Technology, geekism and management wise. 
Makes me like google, apart from the simple reason, that they have made life easier on many fronts. 
It will not amaze me if google gets hard wired in my system in coming years. Specially, since I have stopped struggling against the wave of the digital revolution and embraced it quite happily.


~nightflier


P.S. Story behind the book - The book was recommended to me almost 2-3 months back. But it's pretty expensive which would have totally affected my monthly book budget. So I joined Tender Leaves, my new library! :D And voila, grabbed it pronto! Had to finish it asap as the librarian himself wanted to read it after me!

Wasn't a blogspot enough ?

Crappy day. Work piled up. Had class in the evening (Oh learning Japanese btw, wanted to do a nice post on nuances of learning but nevertheless) so showed extra-ordinary management skills and finished off in time. Then bus got delayed. Manager called. Some more work. Missed class.


Extremely grumpy. Specially when last night hiragana had started to retain inside my head and I had really worked hard on a conversation homework - thinking overnight as to what to write about and coming up with pretty good stuff (considering I have already missed 2 sessions at the beginning). More grumpy. One of those days.


So what I did ? Having a facebook developer account had activated the new facebook timeline for my profile day before. I indulged in some more frivolous stuff. After thinking that the new messy facebook news feed will actually make me hate it more! No sir, self indulgence is a forte. Pics got tweaked. Covers were made. Apps got added. Time-line got cleaned up. Virtual world really gives you a chance to re-do, re-align stuff. So unlike reality.


Anywho, I have a blog and I am pretty happy with it. But no, now I have an entire page dedicated to more vanity with people's approval.
Grumpy. Grumpy. Grumpy.


~nightflier


P.S. Unless you are a nerd like me there is a way to activate the facebook timeline. Please google techcrunch the techcrunch article. But its in beta now, so may be buggy. So let them release it on their own.
P.P.S. Aai (and baba too) think I am quite mad to be learning japanese, so please go ahead and judge.

संशय कल्लोळ

Pre script : marathi in the title - means 'havoc caused by doubt'.


My first marathi broadway (natya-sangeet!) theater experience! Of course the college Firodiya musicals don't count.
The last time I watched a musical I was completely blown away. This time I have a new found crush on Rahul Deshpande. The dude has got a new stalker/follower from tonight! (his grandfather was another rockstar dude!)


Overall the musical was nice and light, in spite of the tension in the title. Though I am wondering how nicer it would have been in the original 1916 version with a male actor performing as the heroine! Oh and I am also wondering how timeless the story line is! (specially after reading love in the time of cholera).


Anywho, at least have new object of dreams :P
(link below)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jez4cUZXyCA&feature=fvsr


~nightflier

Love in the time of cholera

Pre Script : May become a very long post.


'Love stories. They make sense in bits and pieces, sometimes the whole never does. Love is like that.' - Someone on my twitter time line who has a way with words and life.


Ok. First things first. I don't even know why I picked and then decided to buy this book. On a landmark trip I had almost bought 100 years of solitude, but then because of a self imposed intervention did not buy it. Nonetheless I think it was destined (;)) that I read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's cholera (here after will be referred by the same name) first! Done with the story behind the book!


Love is a topic of personal disposition. To me my parents', friends' love makes perfect sense to me. Of course the husband-wife kind of love which involves a lot of domestication is something I have not experienced so cannot say much except from what I have observed. And that is why when I read the above quoted line, it again rang a bell and made perfect sense to me. (needless to say it shamelessly got re-tweeted)


Anywho, the book opened with the strangest and most evocative line I have read  'The smell of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love'. That moment on it was a journey of such and more stranger and beautiful lines. I have always found detailing of human emotions wondrous. And to imagine that I was reading a translation!!


When a proud, haughty Fermina Daza rejected the hopeless innocent love of Florentino Ariza,and instead settled for a seemingly perfect (wealth, looks, reputation and education wise) man Dr. Juvenal Urbino, I did not hate her. Nor did I feel instant sympathy for Ariza. Such was the book. It din't give me a central feeling which I could hold on to (the way Rowling did and we all still feel a certain empathy for Harry). He just took these people, their lives, their characters and their relationships with different people and looked at them as an observer. Of course I did gradually feel that Ariza's unrequited love gets fulfilled. And that's not because Fermina was unhappy or Urbino was a bad guy or Ariza himself was suffering. They were just themselves. Living life through disappointments and disillusionment trying to create better illusions for themselves.


These very scandalous (not in a perverse way) characters (and many other as well) were on a quest for love, which each explored in his/her own way, as fate permitted. And by the end of it, it all felt very peaceful and calm. There was no clamor of passion, hope or disillusion. Also the book had a very amusing and funny undertone. As if it knew what not to take seriously ;-)
[In a rather funny way, Ariza'a mother compares the symptoms of love of a young Florentino to Cholera. And there after keeps referring to it 'that ailment he once caught and never got rid of'.]


And since the original book is in spanish, and I read a translation, I hope it was worth it. Because, love stories don't need a language in the end ;)


Ok slight afterthought. While reading any book I imagine a movie being made on it (for most of them!). Somehow for me it was very difficult to imagine these people in a movie. And then I googled the movie which was made in 2007 based on the book and read Ebert uncle's synopsis of it and realized how true it is what he has said!
[For those who did not click the link, he says 'I'm wondering, as I started by saying, if what makes Garcia Marquez so great a writer is his work's insistence on being read, not seen'.]


Highly recommend. And oh you will love the carribbean of the colonial times! :)


~nightflier


P.S. Is it me or the post feels disjointed ? Guess its Marquez's work's insistence on being read, not being written about :-)

Random things that made me happy!!

I am not a jaded person nor am I constantly judging my state of happiness (I do it over periods like months or weeks :D) but last week these 2 things happened which put bright big smiles on my face, inside and outside and I felt happy!


Do you ever chase down your friends on streets walking ahead totally unaware of you behind and tap them on the wrong shoulder (if you are on left side, tap on their right or vice versa). Well if the distance is manageable I do this all the time!! So I got down from bus and was walking towards home when saw brother ahead of me and I totally did the shoulder tap to him and grinned like a fool amid the crowd! :D
Of course brother got embarrassed a little. But it made me so happy to see the person I live with on a street totally unaware of me, caught off guard!! 
P.S. Shoulder taps are restricted to *ONLY* people you know very well. *NOT* acquaintances. If I have met you only twice and you do that to me, you will be thoroughly embarrassed by my reaction :P


When I do reach home early from work i.e. around 6 or 7 pm, kids in the society are playing around. So on a particularly non cloudy evening 2 boys around the age of 6 or 7 were running behind each other (playing out-out) and laughing uncontrollably after catching each other. Just watching them get a high by the running around, with huffy puffy laughs made me really really happy!! :D


~nightflier


P.S. Am on the last few pages of Love in the time of cholera and oh what a book it has been! Marquez is awesome! Next post on the book :)

co-existing at work and otherwise

At work few freshers have joined as trainees, who are allocated different mentors. As most of today's generation goes (of course I talk like a granny, but get my gist, I am talking about a whooping 8 year difference between basic schooling) youngsters are inquisitive, energetic, full of enthusiasm. To me its a great defense mechanism because, at a place when you are daunted by what may come ahead and the pressure of being inexperienced, these very qualities help you learn and progress. But us experienced lot who are burdened by the rut, find these very qualities annoying. The smart newbee with do-you-enjoy-your-work queries becomes an added burden, because you realize you have stopped asking that question. Some mentors who are harsh enough, immediately snub the spark and tell them to mind their business i.e. be a submissive junior who doesnt ask but does what he/she is told and talks when required. 

Of course at work one has to learn to restrict one's curiosity. One learns such things gradually, by knowing when and how. That's being corporate.

But is it ok to curb someone's natural enthusiasm ?

I don't get this. Are we humans so un(or dis?)compassionate to forget what it is like to be a novice at something ? or are we simply not ready to accept that its ok if someone is different from us ? Why do we want to force others to be as we want them to be ? Why does a delhi wala think mumbai wala can't be like him or vice versa ?

Of course we eventually learn to co-exist. But my common sense tells me to learn and respect the differences and then be what you are. Banter is all right but ridiculing or condescending someone for being themselves is kind of tacky.

~nightflier

P.S. After living with chinese room-mates for 6 months, I don't forget to tell anyone that sometimes the smells of food can be overpowering and totally unrelatable and how communication can be a problem. I am sure they must have felt the same way. That our spices are too strong, and Indians talk 
faster than a bullet! :D
P.P.S. When I become a mentor I hope I have some great materical to dazzle the newbee :D

Fiona's true love

Fiona is angry. She says to Shrek who too is visibly distressed 'But you weren't there when I needed you. I rescued myself from the dragon and the castle.'


After a round of twists, things do fall into place. 


Shrek is back to his happy, love filled life. He says to Fiona 'It wasn't I who rescued you. You truly rescued me.'


Despite the fairy tales one has been fed growing up and despite the sweeping generalization that *only* 'some people' need to be rescued 'all the time', I would like to believe in Shrek and Fiona's 'rescuing each other'.
Romantic and slightly foolish (naive?) but so heartening to hear :)


~nightflier