Guess we all need an outlet for the pent up bad stuff inside us. Thats why we do so. We is out of mere convenience here as it suits me. I fight, hurt, say stupid dramatic stuff as after the situation has subsided it makes me value the good stuff even more. I know life should not be so complicated. But 'mann se raavan jo nikale raam uske mann mein hai'
I have lost my innocence. A lot of it. Every time I get hurt or have to hurt someone by saying stupid things the realization sinks deeper.
This picture makes me hopeful though. http://twitpic.com/1h9g6o
Oh and I am also reading winnie the pooh. Pooh bear says 'Sometimes the smallest things take the most room in your heart!' How very true and profound.
~nightflier
Honey you will be fine!
*this is a really old draft which I found today..was written in the month of april!
P.S. This post is for 2 girls who are very dear to me. And they know who they are :)
Life is mostly weird and pointless. And oh yeah, its vicissitudes are vast and complex (to quote JKR). Things are thrown at us in such a random fashion that sometimes when they hit you without expectations, its really difficult to not get bogged down. I have learnt to call such instances happening to me as 'growing up'. It doesnt sound very wise (but who cares). But it gives me the option to choose, between what I have become and what I want to be, from what I was.
There are things a normal girl always wants. Her freedom, a place to call home, someone to love and care and her independence. When any of these things gets threatened, its really difficult to accept the change of scene or the consequences of what it might imply. And you two are doing it really well.
You are my role models. Not only because, you have managed to handle these situations, but you have never made any fuss about it. I admire your strength and courage, to keep it cool. I wish I could just give you a hug.
~nightflier
P.S. This post is for 2 girls who are very dear to me. And they know who they are :)
Life is mostly weird and pointless. And oh yeah, its vicissitudes are vast and complex (to quote JKR). Things are thrown at us in such a random fashion that sometimes when they hit you without expectations, its really difficult to not get bogged down. I have learnt to call such instances happening to me as 'growing up'. It doesnt sound very wise (but who cares). But it gives me the option to choose, between what I have become and what I want to be, from what I was.
There are things a normal girl always wants. Her freedom, a place to call home, someone to love and care and her independence. When any of these things gets threatened, its really difficult to accept the change of scene or the consequences of what it might imply. And you two are doing it really well.
You are my role models. Not only because, you have managed to handle these situations, but you have never made any fuss about it. I admire your strength and courage, to keep it cool. I wish I could just give you a hug.
~nightflier
tera zikr
In love with this song from Guzaarish. Thanks Ketaki!
Ke tera zikr hai
Ya itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
Oo ke tera, tera, tera zikr hai
Ya, itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
Sholon ki tarah
Khushbuon mein dehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Ke tera zikr hai
Ya itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
Teri fikr hai
Ya fakr hai
Teri fikr hai
Ya fakr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Machalta hoon
Uchalta hoon
Fisalta hoon
Paagal ki tarah
Mastiyon mein
Tehelta hoon
Uchalta hoon
Fisalta hoon
Ke tera zikr hai (haan zikr hai)
Ya itr hai (itr hai)
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
Ke tera zikr hai
Ya itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
Oo ke tera, tera, tera zikr hai
Ya, itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
Sholon ki tarah
Khushbuon mein dehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Ke tera zikr hai
Ya itr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
Teri fikr hai
Ya fakr hai
Teri fikr hai
Ya fakr hai
Jab jab karta hoon
Machalta hoon
Uchalta hoon
Fisalta hoon
Paagal ki tarah
Mastiyon mein
Tehelta hoon
Uchalta hoon
Fisalta hoon
Ke tera zikr hai (haan zikr hai)
Ya itr hai (itr hai)
Jab jab karta hoon
Mehekta hoon
Behekta hoon
Chehekta hoon
The southern sojourn
So when I was struggling to get my bearings straight on the Indian timeline, a dear friend who now lives in Chennai asked me to visit her. After the initial inertia from mom dad about the ayodhya verdict, its implications etc (which proved out to be nothing thanks to all of us maturing) they conceded :D
So off I went to Chennai for a refreshing visit to a dear friend. This was going to be my first visit to a city situated so down south in India. So my excitement kind of knew no bounds. But the hot humid airs of chennai made sure I kept myself in check. After a day's rest we embarked on an adventure reserved for every non-Rajni fan. A show of his latest flick Enthiran, in a huge theater amongst hooting, cheering crowds. What an experience! And what a movie! It is truly god level. With so many layers including the artificiality of Mrs. Bachchan, I loved it. Note to self : do not deprive yourself of such stuff in the future!
The next day was marked with visiting the real Chennai. So friend and me ventured in the killer humidity to T nagar, the market place of chennai. It seemed to me as if the entire Chennai had gathered there. We went to Pothys and did some sareee shopping. After that we visited the big daddy of Big Bazaar, the Saravana stores. Walmart guys should take a look at it before thinking of opening their branches in India. What eh spectacle this 7 story shopping store was! After such tiresome activities the time came to quench our hunger. And only typical south Indian food could do it. So we went to Murugan Idli. They serve the bestest, softest idlis I have ever eaten in my life. With 4 different equally tasty chutneys and sambhar. And seeing my liking my friend made sure that we visited them almost everyday to try all the stuff from their menu :D
Next day we visited Besant Nagar beach. A nice place to chill away from the city hustle bustle. I tried my hand at balloon shooting and got 5 on 8 targets :D
Then came the weekend and the much awaited trip to Pondicherry. Not at all overhyped. Its serene beaches and quieter townships (the french colonies) left me wanting for more. Next time I am planning a minimum 7 days trip to this place. We visited the Promenade beach and the lovely Chunnambar beach.
Due to time constraints we could not visit Auroville. Btw we had a tough time finding a good place to eat in Pondi, as we reached pretty late. Then our driver suggested Anand Bhavan and we found it to be a really decent place to hog. Plus the fact that its situated right in the middle of the market place and french colonies made it our hang out spot for the day and half that we were there. And its on these same street side shops that I bought an H&M cotton top for Rs. 150, after much haggling though. Neha you were so right about H&M clothes! :D
On our way back to Chennai we visited Mahabalipuram. A world heritage site with amazing architecture. It was worth wrapping up a bit early in Pondi to catch Mahabalipuram. A must visit once again!
And oh on my last day in Chennai, we visited a 7 story gold jewellery's shop just for fun. No offence to anyone but MY GOD! south Indians and their love for gold! I am still amazed.
And so my impromptu southern sojourn came to an end. It was fun. I hated Chennai weather due to its humidity but loved the food and the chaos. And its always a pleasure to visit old friends and be a part of their life. So am thinking where to plan my next trip :D any suggestions ?
~nightflier
P.S. somehow I am not able to transfer pics taken from my mobile camera..would have been a better post with few local pictures.
So off I went to Chennai for a refreshing visit to a dear friend. This was going to be my first visit to a city situated so down south in India. So my excitement kind of knew no bounds. But the hot humid airs of chennai made sure I kept myself in check. After a day's rest we embarked on an adventure reserved for every non-Rajni fan. A show of his latest flick Enthiran, in a huge theater amongst hooting, cheering crowds. What an experience! And what a movie! It is truly god level. With so many layers including the artificiality of Mrs. Bachchan, I loved it. Note to self : do not deprive yourself of such stuff in the future!
The next day was marked with visiting the real Chennai. So friend and me ventured in the killer humidity to T nagar, the market place of chennai. It seemed to me as if the entire Chennai had gathered there. We went to Pothys and did some sareee shopping. After that we visited the big daddy of Big Bazaar, the Saravana stores. Walmart guys should take a look at it before thinking of opening their branches in India. What eh spectacle this 7 story shopping store was! After such tiresome activities the time came to quench our hunger. And only typical south Indian food could do it. So we went to Murugan Idli. They serve the bestest, softest idlis I have ever eaten in my life. With 4 different equally tasty chutneys and sambhar. And seeing my liking my friend made sure that we visited them almost everyday to try all the stuff from their menu :D
Next day we visited Besant Nagar beach. A nice place to chill away from the city hustle bustle. I tried my hand at balloon shooting and got 5 on 8 targets :D
 |
| backwaters on way to Chunnambar beach |
Due to time constraints we could not visit Auroville. Btw we had a tough time finding a good place to eat in Pondi, as we reached pretty late. Then our driver suggested Anand Bhavan and we found it to be a really decent place to hog. Plus the fact that its situated right in the middle of the market place and french colonies made it our hang out spot for the day and half that we were there. And its on these same street side shops that I bought an H&M cotton top for Rs. 150, after much haggling though. Neha you were so right about H&M clothes! :D
On our way back to Chennai we visited Mahabalipuram. A world heritage site with amazing architecture. It was worth wrapping up a bit early in Pondi to catch Mahabalipuram. A must visit once again!
And oh on my last day in Chennai, we visited a 7 story gold jewellery's shop just for fun. No offence to anyone but MY GOD! south Indians and their love for gold! I am still amazed.
And so my impromptu southern sojourn came to an end. It was fun. I hated Chennai weather due to its humidity but loved the food and the chaos. And its always a pleasure to visit old friends and be a part of their life. So am thinking where to plan my next trip :D any suggestions ?
~nightflier
P.S. somehow I am not able to transfer pics taken from my mobile camera..would have been a better post with few local pictures.
On domestic violence
Recently while reading Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy which was based around crimes of domestic violence, physical and mental abuse I was quite inspired to write about the whole issue. Thinking that I would spoil the plot for potential readers I did not go ahead. But after reading Neha's article I am more than inspired to write. I would definitely be referencing to the book, but would try to be indirect and subtle.
Violence as a means of self defense is the only way I can justify it. In any other form its outright evil and cruel. And the trend of violence exists in every society. It has got nothing to do with 'oh we are old fashioned in India and hence its an Indian thing'. Good and bad examples exist in every society. Its the psychology behind such acts that needs to be studied and tackled.
The person committing the abhorring acts of hitting, torturing, sexually abusing another person is misguided by the sense of control which they need to display. I think these acts of controlling others, displaying dominance are attitude problems. Its a disease. And as every disease, it needs diagnosis and medicine. The only diagnosis I can think of is the victims stop being victimized. If the victims start retaliating or start giving subtle hints in extreme cases, then help can be sought. The day a person who is being victimized for such acts asks the question 'WHY ?' the day half the problem is solved. Because with that why comes a revelation that its unjust to tolerate such appalling things. According to me it applies to physical acts of violation to mental harassments like abusive relationships. I really dont understand when people start blaming situations and dont want to get out of bad relationships. My logical brain says if one of the 2 persons in the relationship is not getting respect then its time to get it done with. Though I would admit that things aren't so simple in reality. I myself know a few friends who are in bad relationships. One could get out of it with substantial emotional hurt but the other could not.
This is where Lisbeth Salander comes into picture. Despite having the physique of a teenager, she gets around bad, abusive relationships using her intelligence and skills. In her book there is no mercy for hideous crimes. If you are exploiting someone's vulnerability she makes sure you get punished. No she wont break the law or she wont kill you or she wont even do some superheroish stunt. She would simply put you in a trying situation where you would remember all the gods you prayed to (dadi-nani yaad dilana types). When everyone else in the system fails to act, she takes care of stuff in her own style. I know all this makes me sound like a childish hero worshiper, but the point I am trying to make is most of the times we underestimate ourselves. Sometimes even a loud whimper can mend ways for the abuser and the abused. The courage needs to be summed up.
A huge salute to the Lisbeth Salander's amongst us. And a pat on the back to the ones who are suffering and don't find the courage to retaliate. I am damn sure one day you guys would find it!
~nightflier
Violence as a means of self defense is the only way I can justify it. In any other form its outright evil and cruel. And the trend of violence exists in every society. It has got nothing to do with 'oh we are old fashioned in India and hence its an Indian thing'. Good and bad examples exist in every society. Its the psychology behind such acts that needs to be studied and tackled.
The person committing the abhorring acts of hitting, torturing, sexually abusing another person is misguided by the sense of control which they need to display. I think these acts of controlling others, displaying dominance are attitude problems. Its a disease. And as every disease, it needs diagnosis and medicine. The only diagnosis I can think of is the victims stop being victimized. If the victims start retaliating or start giving subtle hints in extreme cases, then help can be sought. The day a person who is being victimized for such acts asks the question 'WHY ?' the day half the problem is solved. Because with that why comes a revelation that its unjust to tolerate such appalling things. According to me it applies to physical acts of violation to mental harassments like abusive relationships. I really dont understand when people start blaming situations and dont want to get out of bad relationships. My logical brain says if one of the 2 persons in the relationship is not getting respect then its time to get it done with. Though I would admit that things aren't so simple in reality. I myself know a few friends who are in bad relationships. One could get out of it with substantial emotional hurt but the other could not.
This is where Lisbeth Salander comes into picture. Despite having the physique of a teenager, she gets around bad, abusive relationships using her intelligence and skills. In her book there is no mercy for hideous crimes. If you are exploiting someone's vulnerability she makes sure you get punished. No she wont break the law or she wont kill you or she wont even do some superheroish stunt. She would simply put you in a trying situation where you would remember all the gods you prayed to (dadi-nani yaad dilana types). When everyone else in the system fails to act, she takes care of stuff in her own style. I know all this makes me sound like a childish hero worshiper, but the point I am trying to make is most of the times we underestimate ourselves. Sometimes even a loud whimper can mend ways for the abuser and the abused. The courage needs to be summed up.
A huge salute to the Lisbeth Salander's amongst us. And a pat on the back to the ones who are suffering and don't find the courage to retaliate. I am damn sure one day you guys would find it!
~nightflier
Word-y dreams
I dreamt a dream.
In which you were you and I was me.
You were the cloud, I was the rain,
You were the plant, I was the grain.
You were the leaf, I was the dew,
You were the coffee, I was the brew.
You were the 'x', I was the 'y',
We were the varying constants in each others' sky.
I dreamt a dream,
In which you were me, I were you
Together we were, one in two.
~nightflier
P.S. I really dreamed these lines in my dream! Ma Kasam!
In which you were you and I was me.
You were the cloud, I was the rain,
You were the plant, I was the grain.
You were the leaf, I was the dew,
You were the coffee, I was the brew.
You were the 'x', I was the 'y',
We were the varying constants in each others' sky.
I dreamt a dream,
In which you were me, I were you
Together we were, one in two.
~nightflier
P.S. I really dreamed these lines in my dream! Ma Kasam!
Bapu ka birthday
People like to have opinions these days. The different it is the better they feel about standing out of the crowd. And by just reading the biased, designed somewhat for a child's psychology history books over the years they like to boast about their meager knowledge about the Mahatma.
I could not care less but the appalling stuff hurled at him and his countless counterparts, by my generation makes me wonder whether we truly respect our freedom or independence. How deeply do we even consider what his philosophy means and conveys ? And that's why I feel bad and sometimes provoked by such people. I do NOT think having different opinions just because you could not care less to know enough is cool. History as we know will always remain biased/distorted (after all its the past and different people will have different perspectives). It is the lack of respect for people for what they were, their principles is what bothers me the most.
~nightflier
I could not care less but the appalling stuff hurled at him and his countless counterparts, by my generation makes me wonder whether we truly respect our freedom or independence. How deeply do we even consider what his philosophy means and conveys ? And that's why I feel bad and sometimes provoked by such people. I do NOT think having different opinions just because you could not care less to know enough is cool. History as we know will always remain biased/distorted (after all its the past and different people will have different perspectives). It is the lack of respect for people for what they were, their principles is what bothers me the most.
~nightflier
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