where I think I may need lessons in management

* You know that over drive when your brain is racing through tasks one after the other, so much that you are amazed that how many thoughts your brain can produce and switch context equally well. No not exactly that this is happening with me. But I am at stage one where busy-ness is worrying me and I want to be able to do the context switching smoothly. Alas. But as I was talking to my shrink friend and accepted that since childhood I have been groomed to set stupid expectations for myself and push myself. So yes even if that's true, its always a struggle getting there. There = where need to push myself is lower than the desired result.
Anywho, I have rambled. A LOT.

* Also happening a lot these days, especially when I struggle at work is this ->

Source: marie-lle.com via Tanvii on Pinterest

* When I see people around me swim in an abyss of cliched prejudices, I FEEL anger. It exasperates me. Thankfully I have work to channel it. And also a blog where I can talk to empty spaces. Hmmm.
I pray for open minds. I really do. Heartfelt prayer.

* Well, if its not public then few days back I wanted to marry Kiran Nagarkar. I now want to marry Haruki Murakami. May be I can share time with these crazy minds ? 2-3 months at a time ? I am sure we will work something out. 
Reading 1Q84 has been the best reward given to me/best thing that has happened to me in July-August. It is extremely difficult to try to review a murakami book. But if you want something interesting, thrilling, magical to read then well you have one pick!

* Well, I have already lost a lot of thought threads I had going on inside my mind. And now I am suddenly at a loss of words. But anyway, as I said post some self pushing I will be back at point one and will have lots to write about.

~nightflier

Distracting the distracted

New work has the most chilling air-conditioning. 
New work also has a very good espresso machine. The 2 go well together. When the cold takes over me, I just go and get myself some nice, hot coffee.
Of course, normally this is not an issue.

who made these chocolates!!!

But I am allergic to coffee. As I am allergic to many random things, I go on a sneeze fest.
Plus among the variety of liquids that go inside my system over the day, milk, tea, water, juice, also this ----------------------------->
I thought an intervention will do me some good.
As if the stars were waiting for me to think about this, I came across this (through a friend's tweet).


I use stairs everyday and don't really need any sugar reduction (because guess what I DONT like sweets much!), so I picked a combination of these two:
1. No liquids other than water (in my case milk, juices) for a month
2. 100 stairs everyday (that's just climbing up) for a month


So starting March 1st, I am going on a month long abstinence from coffee, alcohol, carbonated liquids (of any kind, in any form) and will be taking only stairs wherever possible. The second one comes naturally to me. The first errmm. It will need some restraint. Considering there will be a lot of outings happening this month, I can see my prospects at the parties, as being the not-fun one. Also, the Espresso machine! I know it is going to miss me. 
But hey, guess what, I HAVE to start somewhere to be more healthy!


In conjunction with these, I am going to practice Katakana everyday (I havent practiced for more than a month now!). And also not going to skip breakfast. Even if it means eating alone.


A very big step for an already distracted girl. I am telling you.


~nightflier


P.S. I have skipped tea because, when I catch an allergic cold, it is the *only* sane option.

the drought

Have got *literally* nothing to say.


Must. Not. Read. Philosophy.
Must. Read. Watch. Fun. Stuff.
[putting blames is so much easier once you have decided!]


Anywho, I watched this amazingly fantastic grown up animation movie called Rango. Johnny Depp is one smooth actor. Such skill to get into character and make it (a lizard, eww, in this case) lovable. Absolutely. Worth. Must. Watch.


~nightflier

learn. un-learn. re-learn.

The problem with an analytical mind is it thinks a lot. And if gets even better company, it goes into over drive.


I think I am pretty much self aware (with an annoyingly strong (sub)conscious which always advocates not being mean). I not only observe myself, I also end up analyzing behavioral patterns of myself, people in my life and sometimes on larger scales (depending on how much free time I have) society.


So it is something related to very mundane. 4 years back when I had to learn electric machines, I did it without much fuss, in spite of knowing I had a phobia for it but very well aware that studying is the only way to pass. 4 years down the line, I am required to study some mathematical stuff which will not be asked in any exam (rather more experimental and research kind of stuff), I do it without any doubts/questions/fuss. Again. Very happy about the entire process. But few days ago I was asked to study those darned machines again and I just could not bring myself to give my 100%. So in this growing old process, my awareness that my life will be better without putting 100% to it, killed the fun/excitement I once found in learning ? [part of this sentence is as put by the even better company I talked about in the first sentence]


So in a sense, in trying to make myself learn something I had 4 years ago, I have to get rid of the baggage of this awareness by un-learning it. Re-learning will not look that hard then. May be.


Attitude, they say, determines your altitude. No wonder Mount Everest looks so tall from here. :-|


~nightflier


P.S. I tried and I failed. Again. Electric Machines are stupid that way :D
also pardon any inconsistent sentences. I have a bad feeling about the grammar here.

Life in the slow zone

Most of you will agree that life as a student is slow except for those elevated periods of activity and exhaustion during exams and semester end. But on a routine basis if you follow a time table life is more or less the same. Having done that for almost 2 years I was REALLY looking forward to get my hands dirty in the real world and start working. It seems god or one of his subordinates with a mean sense of humour has different plans (cos I think I have a friendly relation with mr. god. I know he is reading this! coy smile). 


Anyhow that throws me in the slow zone (what I sometimes also call the unpredictable zone) once again! To tell the truth, I did get caught a bit off guard here. But after 4-5 days of lamenting and sob stories (to myself), I am back to being an optimist. Sigh..


I am planning to learn a few new programming languages/tools (Strictly for AwareNet purposes).
Also in the pipeline is a lot of reading. The pending reading list seems to grow by day and looms on me menacingly. In a wake up you lazy ass way.
The evening walks are an integral part of my day now. Planning to add badminton sessions. Any bakras in picture or vicinity ? Well, playing with imaginary friends doesn't quite look appropriate for my age now. 
And in the cooking section we have Mark uncle making a re-entry. Of course he will be on Minimalist and me in my kitchen.
On the gadget front if I can carry it off then try to download cool applications and games for my iTouch. Seriously it must be feeling ignored/rejected/sad with my meagre musical needs and limited use. But pretty soon I will be as cool as Tony Stark. Hope floats!


And not on the list is any TV related activity. Because I pulled up a crazy stunt of watching 5 seasons of Lost in 15 days (Each episode lasts for 42-45 minutes :-|) Now I have a pretty good gist of how its going to end. If you have heard of parallel universes and infinite dimensions you might know what I am talking about. And if you are somewhere between season 1 and 5 or don't watch it, then don't bother. This isnt even a spoiler. So I hope there are no chappals or chopsticks coming my way ? Phew!
Waise in my defence I thought any free time before starting work is like your last few days on earth before doomsday. Well watching 5 seasons of Lost will not be anyone's choice in such situation, but let's agree people are weird. Waise I am on episode 4 of season 6 now, if you were still thinking.
The effect of this incessant Lost bombardment has been tremendous on my nervous system. I have lost (the verb) appetite for tv. That also makes my stomach churn at the thought of movies. Now that's pretty bad for a fanatic. So I beg you to not suggest any more new tv series by amreekan versions of Ekta Kapoors. I also hope the damage does not last long.


So now coming to the point behind this non stop badbad, please suggest me good books on design of products, entrepreneurship and marketing. Not my cup-o-tea all this stuff. Par kya karein karna padta hai.
Also if any of you at any point of time has developed a facebook/mobile custom application, kindly let me know. 
And be a good girl/boy and help your technologically challenged (lazy more like) friend by suggesting nice iTouch/phone applications (needn't be useful). Also let me know what your plans for summer are, in case things get really slow, I might gatecrash (into ?) them.


Parting songs of the moment(s) : 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91QBcm07kXE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8me1GXijJA


(Go ahead my friend. Click them. Sometimes clicking unknown links can make all the difference :))


~nightflier

I miss..

Laughing uncontrollably till my eyes water and my stomach hurts

Dancing unabashedly on silly songs

Eating Pani Puri

Watching hindi movie in a theatre

That late night call over nothing

Going for long solitary walks

Varan-bhaat-toop

Methichi bhaji ani poli

Watching the full moon through the window

Staring at thin air

Running races

Making greeting cards

Writing letters

Dressing up and decking up

Head/hair massages

Being cranky

Trekking/hiking/cycling

Reading a marathi book

But I am a coder stuck in a cold storm and wind chill in Chicago. I shall code till the end of the world. Sigh..

~nightflier

crazy times

The crazy semester where someone juggled crazy subjects and work is over. Yeah! We just clicked submit on a project report.

So how do I feel?

mmm..A bit at peace. A lot confused. I know that you know such great moments pass us without making their presence felt. May be I should be dancing up and down the fire exit! But they already have enough of me here. Alas ...

So without much ado, I finish my little announcement that I am officially free to indulge in whatever I want to as there is nothing much to do.

To one hell of a sem !!

~nightflier

buzzzzzz

Number of drafts : 25

Number of half written posts : 10

Number of posts without a title : 5

Number of posts which will never get published : 5

Level of writing energy in the air : -5

I feel stupidly wedged. Can not come out or don't want to come out??
Time shall tell.

~nightflier!!!